Cybervigilance

The Parent Slang Decoder

A working glossary of the words, abbreviations and emoji parents run into on their kids’ phones, from harmless in-jokes to genuine safety flags.

How to use this page

Slang moves fast. A word your child’s friend group uses one term will mean something completely different, or nothing at all, a year later, and the same term can be totally innocent in one conversation and a red flag in another. Context, tone and who’s saying it matter more than the word itself.

This page is a snapshot, checked against current sources, not a fixed dictionary. Treat it as a starting point for conversation with your child, not a decoder ring for reading their messages in secret.

The point is understanding, not spying. The goal here is to close the gap between what your child hears every day and what you recognize, so you can talk about it, not to secretly translate their DMs. If you see a term that worries you, the best next step is almost always a calm, curious conversation with your child, not a confrontation built on a glossary lookup.

1Everyday chat & social slang

Mostly harmless. Knowing these helps you follow along, not worry.

Term What it means Why it matters
Rizz Charisma or charm, especially the ability to attract someone romantically. Oxford’s 2023 Word of the Year. Just slang for charm. « W rizz » (good) / « L rizz » (bad) are compliments or roasts, not a warning sign on their own.
Mid Average, mediocre, unimpressive. A casual putdown of a show, food, or a person’s effort. Normal peer commentary.
Opp Short for « opponent » — a rival, enemy, or someone in a beef. Usually banter between friend groups. Worth a closer look if it’s used repeatedly about one specific person alongside anger or exclusion, which can signal bullying.
FYP « For You Page, » TikTok’s personalized main feed driven by its recommendation algorithm. Explains why kids describe content as « on my FYP », it’s what the algorithm has decided to show them, not something they searched for.
Mutual Someone who follows a person on social media and is followed back. Shorthand for a two-way social media connection. Useful when your child says « we’re mutuals » about someone they haven’t met.
Finsta « Fake Instagram, » a second, more private account (small follower list, usually close friends) used for unfiltered posts, separate from a polished main account. Not inherently bad, it’s a common way teens split public image from private life, but it means there may be an account and content you haven’t seen. Worth asking about calmly rather than trying to find it.
Main vs. alt account « Main » is the primary, public-facing account; « alt » (alternate) is a secondary account, sometimes anonymous, for a specific purpose (fandom, gaming, venting, a finsta). Multiple accounts are normal online behavior, not automatically deceptive. It’s worth knowing they exist and having an open conversation about what each is for.
Delulu Short for « delusional. » Started as self-deprecating (unrealistic hopes, e.g. about a celebrity crush) and is now used broadly, often jokingly, for wishful thinking. Usually lighthearted self-mockery. Context matters if it’s paired with genuinely concerning beliefs.
IRL « In real life, » used to distinguish online interactions/friends from offline ones. Useful phrase for asking your child directly: « is this a friend you know IRL? »
No cap / cap « No cap » = telling the truth, not exaggerating. « Cap » = a lie. Common truth-telling slang, not a safety term.
Ghosted Cutting off all communication with someone suddenly, without explanation. Can describe a friendship or relationship ending abruptly online. Worth attention if your child seems hurt or is doing it to avoid someone unsafe.
Simp Someone seen as excessively attentive or desperate for a crush’s approval. Often used teasingly among friends; can tip into mocking or bullying.

2Safety-relevant termsKnow these

These are the terms worth actually memorizing. Several describe crimes, some describe coded ways kids and predators evade parents or platform moderation, and some are signals of mental health risk.

Predatory and criminal tactics

Term What it means Why it matters
Catfishing Creating a fake online identity, often with stolen photos, to build a relationship under false pretenses. A common grooming tactic: an adult can pose as a peer to build trust. Red flags include resistance to video calls and a thin or inconsistent social history.
Grooming The gradual process an abuser uses to build trust with a child (and often their family) in order to manipulate, exploit, or abuse them. The FBI has warned of « group grooming, » where coordinated networks of offenders target the same child. Rarely happens in one message; watch for a new online contact who escalates secrecy, gifts, or requests for images over time.
Sextortion An adult coerces a child or teen into sending explicit images, then threatens to share them unless the victim pays or sends more content. The FBI notes offenders may pose as peers, offer rewards, or claim to already have compromising material. Affects kids of all backgrounds, victims as young as 8 have been reported. If it happens: don’t delete anything, don’t pay, and report it (see Sources).
Doxxing Obtaining and publishing someone’s personal identifying information (home address, school, phone number) online, usually to intimidate or enable harassment. Can escalate to real-world danger. The FBI has issued specific alerts warning parents about doxxing targeting children.
Swatting Making a false emergency call to trigger a police or SWAT response at someone’s home. A serious crime with real danger of injury; the FBI has issued nationwide warnings about it being used against kids and teens, sometimes tied to online gaming disputes.
Booter / stresser An illegal paid service that floods a website, game server, or player’s connection with fake traffic to knock it offline (a DDoS attack). Marketed to gamers as a way to « boot » opponents offline; using or paying for one is a crime that can lead to real legal consequences, not just a game exploit.
764 / « the Com » Names used by loosely organized violent online networks that target children and teens, using manipulation, sextortion, and coercion, sometimes pushing victims toward self-harm. The FBI has issued public warnings specifically about these networks. If your child mentions being pressured or threatened in a group chat, take it seriously and report it.

Code words for « an adult is watching »

Term What it means Why it matters
CD9 / Code 9 A code teens use in chats to warn friends that a parent or other adult is nearby or watching the conversation. Its existence is a reminder that kids actively route around adult supervision in the moment. Worth raising in conversation rather than trying to police every code.
PAW / POS « Parents are watching » / « parent over shoulder, » similar warning codes. Same purpose as CD9: a heads-up that an adult can see the screen.

Algospeak: words used to dodge moderation filters

« Algospeak » is coded language people use to talk about sensitive topics without tripping automatic content moderation. Knowing it doesn’t mean every use is dangerous, most is just how a platform’s filters shaped everyday speech, but a cluster of these terms combined with a change in mood or behavior is worth noticing.

Term What it means Why it matters
Unalive / unalived « Kill » / « killed » / to die, including by suicide. A workaround for words that get videos removed or demonetized. Frequent, serious use (not jokes about a video game) alongside mood changes is a signal to check in directly and involve a mental health professional if needed.
KMS / KYS « Kill myself » / « kill yourself. » Can be thrown around carelessly as hyperbole, but repeated or targeted use is a genuine warning sign, whether said about oneself or aimed at someone else as bullying.
Sewer slide A phonetic dodge for « suicide, » used to slip past filters. Same caution as « unalive »: worth noticing the pattern, not panicking over a single use.
Thinspo / meanspo / bonespo « Thinspiration »: content that glamorizes extreme thinness. « Meanspo »: cruel, insulting messages meant to « motivate » weight loss. « Bonespo »: images of visible bones presented as aspirational. Associated with pro-eating-disorder (« pro-ana »/ »pro-mia ») online communities. These terms show up even from innocent searches like « fitness tips. » Seeing them is a reason for a caring conversation, not punishment.
Seggs / corn / 🌽 Coded spellings for « sex » and « porn, » used to get sexual content or discussion past automated filters. Mostly used to discuss ordinary sexual content or jokes; becomes more concerning combined with contact from unknown adults.

Drug-related slang and emoji

Emoji codes for drugs change often and vary by region and platform; treat this as a general awareness list, not a checklist to scan messages for.

Term What it means Why it matters
Plug A drug dealer, or the connection to get drugs. « Who’s your plug » is a request to buy drugs, not a tech reference.
❄️ / 🌨️ / 🔑 / 🎱 Snowflake, snow cloud, key, or 8-ball emoji used to reference cocaine. Emoji-based drug slang lets deals happen in plain sight in chats and comments.
🍁 / 💨 / 🌲 Maple leaf, wind, or tree emoji used to reference marijuana. Same pattern: ordinary-looking emoji standing in for a substance.
💊 / 🍫 / 🍬 Pill, chocolate bar, or candy emoji used to reference pills such as Xanax, Adderall, or MDMA. Counterfeit pills sold this way can be laced with fentanyl; a minor has no way to verify what a pill actually contains.
420 Widely recognized shorthand for marijuana. Long-standing and very visible reference; on its own it’s a low-signal, widely known term.

Other terms to know

Term What it means Why it matters
E-boy / e-girl An online aesthetic and persona (distinct makeup and style, moody or flirtatious short-form videos) popularized on TikTok and in gaming-adjacent spaces. A style choice, not inherently risky. Content in this space sometimes leans flirtatious or sexualized, so it’s a reasonable prompt to talk about what your child is watching and posting.
Sneaky link A hookup or partner someone is seeing secretly, without others knowing. Signals a relationship being deliberately hidden from friends or family.
Accountant A slang code sometimes used to refer to someone doing sex work or selling content on subscription platforms like OnlyFans. Worth recognizing if it comes up in an age-inappropriate context or in relation to your child’s peer group.

3Technical & platform terms

The plumbing behind the apps, useful vocabulary for talking about settings and privacy.

Term What it means Why it matters
VPN Virtual Private Network. Routes internet traffic through another server, hiding location and encrypting the connection. Legitimate privacy tool, but teens also use it to get around parental controls, school filters, or an app’s age/region restrictions.
DM Direct message, a private one-to-one (or small group) message, as opposed to a public comment or post. Most sextortion and grooming contact moves into DMs quickly, where parents and platforms have far less visibility than public posts.
Algorithm The automated system that decides what content a platform shows a specific user, based on their past activity. Explains why two people see completely different content on the « same » app or feed.
For You Page (FYP) TikTok’s algorithm-driven home feed; other platforms have equivalents (Instagram Reels, YouTube Shorts feed). Content here wasn’t necessarily searched for, it was selected by the platform based on engagement signals.
NSFW « Not safe for work »: a label warning that content is sexual, violent, or otherwise inappropriate for public/professional settings. A common flag on content or channels that skip age checks.
Alt account A secondary account separate from someone’s main, primary profile. See « main vs. alt » above; common and not inherently deceptive, but means more accounts than parents may know about.
Burner (account / phone / number) A temporary or disposable account, phone number, or device used to hide one’s identity. Used for privacy, but also a common tool for evading blocks, harassment, or detection after a problem account is banned.
Discord server A themed community space on Discord (a chat app), organized into text and voice channels, often built around a game, interest, or friend group. Servers range from well-moderated fan communities to unmoderated spaces where predators or harmful groups (including networks like « 764 ») operate.
Mod / moderator A user (often a volunteer) with extra permissions to enforce rules, remove content, and manage members in a server, forum, or comment section. Moderation quality varies enormously between platforms and individual servers; some spaces are essentially unmoderated.

Sources

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