A written agreement won’t stop every hard moment with a screen, but families who make the rules together, instead of handing them down, tend to have fewer fights about them and stick to them longer. This one works best filled in together, out loud, at the kitchen table, with everyone’s handwriting on it.
Bracketed notes like [younger kids: …] and [teens: …] flag where the right answer usually shifts by age. Use your judgment for where your own child falls.
01Our family’s values around tech
Before any rules, agree on what you actually want technology to do for your family. Rules make more sense once everyone has said this part out loud.
[younger kids: keep this simple, « have fun, learn things, talk to family. » Teens can name specific things, like a creative project, a friend group, or a game community that matters to them.]
02When and where we use devices
Tick the ones that apply to your family, and fill in your own times and places.
[younger kids: shorter, supervised blocks with a parent nearby usually work better than a fixed daily total. teens: a flat curfew tends to land better than a minute-by-minute time limit, and it’s worth letting them help set it.]
Our own rules, in our own words
03What we share and keep private
Talk through what’s fine to post or share, and what stays inside the family.
[younger kids: parents handle privacy settings directly. teens: talk through *why* a setting matters, not just what it should be set to, so the habit travels with them onto apps you haven’t heard of yet.]
04Being kind and safe
How we treat people online matters as much as how we treat them in person.
[younger kids: the rule is simple, all online contacts are strangers until a parent says otherwise. teens: online-only friendships are often real and worth taking seriously, the rule is about the in-person meeting, always with a parent, always in public, not about the friendship itself.]
05Passwords and privacy by age
Access to your child’s accounts and devices should shift over time, from full parent oversight to real trust, as they show they can handle it. This section is meant to be rewritten as they grow.
Right now, in our family, this looks like
06The most important promise: what we do when something goes wrong
This is the part that matters most. A kid who’s scared of getting in trouble will hide a problem until it’s much bigger. A kid who trusts they’ll be helped, not punished, will come to you early, while it’s still small and fixable.
- Stop. You don’t have to fix it, delete it, or handle it alone first.
- Tell a parent or trusted adult what happened, as much detail as you can remember.
- We’ll figure out the next step together. No screens taken away as a punishment for reporting.
- If it involves a threat, a stranger, money, or a photo, we get help from someone who deals with this professionally, not just each other.
The trusted adults our kids can always go to, if not us directly, are:
07What we, the parents, promise too
This agreement isn’t just rules for kids. Parents sign up for something too.
- We’ll follow the same screen-free times and places we’re asking of you.
- We’ll ask before posting photos or stories about you, and respect it if you say no.
- We won’t read your messages or search your phone in secret. If we’re checking something, we’ll tell you.
- We’ll stay curious about your games, shows, and apps instead of assuming the worst about them.
- When you come to us with a problem, we’ll listen first and react second.
- We’ll keep learning alongside you as apps and games change, and we’ll admit when you know more than we do.
08Our signatures
Everyone who agrees to this signs below. Younger children can draw a mark or write their name with help.
Child’s signature and name
Parent or guardian’s signature and name
Child’s signature and name (if more than one)
Parent or guardian’s signature and name
Sources
This template’s structure and tone were informed by these existing family media agreement resources. All wording above is original.